No Rhyme or Treason
by beautyandrage
Summary: Azula hates birthdays; Ty Lee wants to change that. It goes, of course, awry. Oneshot. Azula x Ty Lee.


_A/N: This is a prompt from electric gurrl, which I've been working on since the 21st. So, the idea isn't mine, but the prompt was pretty juicy and I hope I did it justice. (and also it took me damned forever to write for only being like 1k words)_

_Prompt: "Azula's birthday, treason, and elaborate disguises."_

* * *

**No Rhyme or Treason**

* * *

It is a very bright morning in early winter, a few weeks before the solstice. The sun has not shined in Caldera on this day in a long time, and it is, Azula's birthday. Her twentieth birthday, to be exact, and therefore, her girlfriend felt the need to do something special for her.

And that something special involves a daring rescue mission by a valiant hero.

"Sorry," Ty Lee whispers as she jabs the shoulder of one of a female guard about her size. The guard's eyes widen and she hits the floor with a small, nearly soundless gasp. "Give me a minute."

She grabs her by the legs and pulls her into a closet, trying to withhold her own winces. Once inside, she steals her clothes, finds a key, and walks out into the main hall of the bleak, grim prison. Ty Lee is currently inside of Shinrai Prison, a place intended for interrogations and brief containment of political criminals.

And it is where her girlfriend is currently being held for treason.

Which is... well... a long story.

* * *

The day before Azula's birthday, Ty Lee sits down for lunch across from Mai and Zuko. They are leaning against each other and not saying anything interesting, and therefore, Ty Lee makes her proposition.

"Azula's birthday is tomorrow," Ty Lee says softly, glancing between Mai and Zuko.

"Shh," Zuko hisses, his eyes flashing. "Don't talk about it."

Ty Lee cocks an eyebrow. "Why? Why can't I talk about it, Zuko?"

"Because she hates her birthday, ever since she was fourteen and our father forgot. After that they all kind of went downhill," Zuko admits with a shrug. Ty Lee narrows her eyes at him.

"Why doesn't this _bother _you? Everyone deserves an amazing birthday! I bet you've had great birthdays!" Ty Lee says loudly, nearly standing up before she slams her knee against the dining room table and winces. Birthdays are an incredibly touchy subject to Ty Lee, given the fact she has _never _had a real one.

"Never, actually. I had no friends as a child, and so there were no parties. The gifts were pretty good, though. Then I was banished, and my birthday always sucked, somehow even worse. And I have hated my birthday ever since. Aang tried to give me a surprise party and it was somehow even worse than the birthday where my father told me I was too old for birthdays and needed to man up and then told me to go walk a mile barefoot in the rain because I asked," Zuko explains flatly, stating dry facts as if they have no emotions attached. (and perhaps, after all of this time, they _do _no longer have emotions attached)

"Ouch," Ty Lee murmurs as Mai rubs Zuko's arm.

"You are so damaged," Mai whispers, nuzzling his nose and confusing him utterly. It makes his cheeks flush slightly.

"I have six identical sisters born on the same day. No one even noticed that it was my birthday most of the time, and we had to get the same gifts to be fair. I destroyed so many dolls..." Ty Lee's eyes are alit with vehement fire. "But instead of becoming bitter and resentful like you and Azula, I vowed to make everyone have a fantastic birthday. And also now I celebrate my birthday _month _to make up for the birthdays I missed."

Mai and Zuko exchange a mildly concerned glance.

"We'll try to help you," Zuko eventually offers and Ty Lee grins at them both.

"I thought you would," she says cheerily and Zuko and Mai yet again examine each other in bewilderment. "I have no idea what to get her, though. What do you get for a girl who has everything and is satisfied with nothing?"

Yet another exchanged glance between the Fire Lord and his girlfriend.

* * *

"This plan seems kind of elaborate," Zuko says, squinting at the sloppy handwriting of the feverishly involved Ty Lee. "Maybe you should just take her to dinner and get her some flowers."

"Don't act like you _don't _want to do it, Zuko," Ty Lee replies viciously and the glint in her eyes makes him swallows his criticisms.

Mai chimes in, "You do realize there's a chance that she'll totally lose it and kill everyone and escape before you can do your weird kinky birthday present thing, right?"

"It's not _kinky_. It's _romantic_," Ty Lee snaps in response and Mai just shrugs. It will probably be the most interesting thing that has happened in some time if Azula does freak and attempt to murder everyone. "And you two _agreed _to the plan."

Zuko groans and rubs his temples. "I know, I know."

"She's probably going to hate this," Mai adds, a small smirk creeping onto her lips for a brief second before vanishing as if it were never there. "But, you know, whatever you two want in the bedroom, you want."

"It's not _sexual_," Ty Lee snarls, frustrated beyond belief with her accomplices. "Okay, well, maybe I _want _it to end with sex. But still! Things are wonderful, but Azula has everything! So, like _you _suggested, Fire Lord Zuko, I should make _memories_. And memories last forever!"

"Alright, alright."

* * *

Azula wakes in the night to someone grabbing her by the arms. She lunges out with cerulean flame before her hands are pinned behind her back in thick, metal handcuffs. The fight is over before it begins as she cranes her neck and sees that these are... _soldiers of her country._

Well, there is either a military coup or Zuko has finally developed enough of a backbone to stand up for himself.

"You're under arrest for treason," is the charge and she opens and then closes her mouth.

_This is a joke... this has to be a joke... Zuko is far too much of a _wimp _to actually _act _on that..._

_ This is also definitely, by far, the worst birthday she has ever had._

* * *

The princess is spitting and raging by the time she is strapped into an interrogation room. The looks of terror on the faces of the guards around her give her strong pleasure as she watches them squirm.

"Just leave her here for the night," Mai says carelessly and Azula thinks _she _might be getting pleasure from this as well. And after all of these years of Azula trying to repair their friendship.

"She's... very dangerous, you know," stammers a guard and Mai just cocks an eyebrow.

"No, I had no idea that Azula was remotely dangerous," she replies sarcastically and he looks embarrassed. And, with a final glance at Azula, Mai adds, "You have your orders."

Azula glares after her and Mai knows why Ty Lee chose her instead of Zuko to explain the severity of the arrest. Mai does not show the emotion that this is all a facade. After Mai leaves, escorted out by guards in bright gold and red uniforms, Azula looks at the soldiers left to preside over her.

"My brother can't be serious," Azula purrs, trying to take control of the room. "He has no idea what the price of his actions will be."

One soldier uncomfortably clears his throat as the others pretend not to be listening. Azula seems disgruntled by being so ignored. Even these long years after her downfall, and her time in an asylum, she is used to being heard and feared.

"I won't be executed," Azula says and she wonders if she is speaking to herself and not them. The princess hesitates. "I'm pregnant, you know?" she lies and one of them looks even more nervous.

"Bring it up during your trial, princess," says a colder guard and Azula spits in his face before his friend tugs him away and Azula is left alone in the damp, cold cell.

She feels like she is going to throw up as she realizes what genuine trouble she is in. The night fades into darkness as she tries to be comfortable handcuffed to a chair.

* * *

Azula has tried to liberate herself three times, and has only succeeded in melting her handcuffs into an even more uncomfortable shape and streaking her face with tears. It is then that she hears a small commotion outside and slips her feet out of her shoes to defend herself if she must.

The door opens and she lights one of her feet, kicking up her ankle. And Ty Lee narrowly dodges the strike as she walks forward. Azula can only make out the silhouette as someone else follows the female soldier in. But it is with the quick punch that disables the confused man entering the room that reveals who has come for Azula.

Ty Lee rummages through her pocket for the key to Azula's handcuffs, her breath tickling the princess's neck as she frees her, navigating around the melted portions.

"Why...? You're going to be arrested," Azula whispers as Ty Lee leans forward and crushes their lips together.

"It'll be worth it," Ty Lee says as she helps Azula out of the chair she was imprisoned in. "Let's run away together."

"Mmm?" Azula murmurs, shoving Ty Lee against the cold, hard wall and pressing their hips together.

"We'd make pretty sexy fugitives," Ty Lee says right before their lips lock.

This is most certainly not Azula's worst birthday ever.

That is, until they are both mostly naked on top of the interrogation table, prying their bodies apart and Azula looks Ty Lee directly into the eyes.

"How did you know I was here? Weren't you on Kyoshi Island?" Azula asks, running her fingertip along Ty Lee's shoulder bone.

"Well..." and Ty Lee's cheeks flush. "I guess this is a good time to say... surprise! You weren't really arrested for treason. It was a birthday surprise. Memories are worth more than things!"

Ty Lee grins as Azula's lips part in utter shock.

"... _surprise_?" is all she can manage to choke out.

Ty Lee's smile does not falter as Azula is genuinely speechless.

"Surprise!" Ty Lee adds, moving to kiss Azula before the princess shoves her away.

"You know," Azula says, trying to calm her raging heartbeat. "I think I would have just preferred a surprise _cake_..."

This is not a birthday she will easily forget.


End file.
